


He will be her light

by Kajunblueyes



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Arrow (TV 2012) RPF
Genre: F/M, My First AO3 Post
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-01-25 13:49:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1650866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kajunblueyes/pseuds/Kajunblueyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My first fic, so be gentle! post 2x23, Oliver has an old childhood friend that shows up, and it turns out that he and Felicity have a history, and It isn't a good one. What will Oliver do when Felicity reveals a piece of her past, her own darkness that has has hidden so well?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. her past catching up to her

Since the whole debacle with Slade, Felicity and Oliver's friendship had become stronger than ever. Their new "lair" has been rebuilt, and after six months of hard work and a lot of convincing, Queen consolidated is back in the rightful hands of the heir to the Queen family. With money still being tight right now, as Oliver was trying to rebuild his company from the literal ashes, the new lair was not nearly as nice or as advanced as the old one in the foundry, but it was functional and running. Over time, it slowly became their new "home".

Laurel was also becoming a fixture in their lair, much to Felicity's dismay. She liked Laurel, she really did, and only wanted Oliver to be happy, but Laurel still treated her with a dismissal and a cold shoulder. Since the day Laurel and Oliver had decided to give their relationship a new try, The new D.A. was hanging out a lot more. Always trying to help out when she could, but in truth, Felicity knew it had to do with her jealousy of she and Oliver's strong friendship. For that she didn't feel guilty, nope not one little bit. 

Felicity and Oliver never spoke much of his relationship with Laurel, although occasionally he would come to Felicty for advice, or to complain about something the D.A. had said or done. While this broke Felicity's heart little by little, she was always there with an ear to bend, because at the end of the day, she loved him, and only wanted his happiness. She only hoped that maybe one day he would see her as a woman, and not just one of the guys.

Oliver always made it a point to spend time with his best friend. He was very aware of his feelings for her, and hers for him, but he also knew that he would never truly be happy until he figured out what his feelings for Laurel were. Still, he never wanted Felicity to not feel like she was just as important in his life, and truth be told, spending time with the blonde whirlwind was the highlight of his day. 

His and Laurel's relationship was complicated, to say the least. Felicity was still always at the back of his mind though. He never told Felicity, but Laurel was always trying to stop him from spending time with her. Whether it was to always be around, or to make other plans when she knew he had prior plans with his IT girl. It really bugged him, but he let it be, because he could very well understand Laurel's insecurities when it came to their relationship. It was his fault after all. 

Felicity had finally began to open up to him about her family and her past, and it made him happy beyond all measure that she trusted him enough to share those details. He also began telling her of his time on the island. It was an unspoken agreement between the two of them, that they never spoke of the worst memories (not wanting to relieve them), and that they never asked each other. He knew that she was hiding something much worse than just her family from her past, but never asked. If she wanted to tell him, she would. 

Slowly he was beginning to let go of all of the past hurt, regret, and guilt, and it was A ray of light in the form of a blonde IT expert, that was helping him do it.

He was happy for his friend Digg as well. It has been 10 months since Slade had turned his life upside down, but they were all rebuilding. Digg was building a life with Lyla and his new son. They were having a hard time trying to balance everything out, but of course, Oliver offered to pay dig and let him take as much time off as he needed. It was the least he could do for his friend and brother-in-arms. Digg was not happy about Laurel hanging out in the Lair, he has made his position where she is concerned very clear. He does not like to see the way Laurel dismisses Felicity, and from time to time, Oliver can her talking to Digg about it. Sometimes she is upset, that shatters his heart, and sometimes she is angry, taking it out on the soldier during their sparring sessions. 

All Oliver knows at this point is that he really needs to sort out his feelings for both women, and soon. He knows that he is walking a fine line.

As they were all trying to rebuild their lives, Roy included, none of them would have any idea of what was to come.


	2. A bad day gets worse

It was a week later, and Felicity was running late heading to QC to do her daily duties as Oliver's E.A. It seemed as though nothing could go right this morning! First her alarm picked this particular day to quit working! When she finally rolled over in bed, and looked at her clock, only to see a blank screen, she panicked! She quickly look at her phone and noticed that it was already 7:30!

In a panicked hurry, she got dressed in tight fitting blue dress, that had a low neckline in the front, and a strappy, somewhat open back. She paired it with a pair of nude heels. She had a bad night last night, and she really need to feel pretty today.

After getting ready, she texted Oliver and informed him that she would be a little late, and he replied for her to take her time. 

Felicity walked down to the parking garage, only to find a flat tire on her car! "Could this day get any worse?" she mumbled. Knowing she didn't have time, nor was she dressed to change a flat tire, she called Digg. Of course he was there quickly and as he drove her to QC, she frustratingly told thanks for saving her day again. Digg just chuckled quietly to himself, and informed her that he would change her tire for her as soon as he dropped her off, so her car would be ready for tomorrow. At least her adopted big brother could make her smile through her misery this morning. 

She thought to herself that her day couldn't possibly get any worse. She had no idea how wrong she would be.

Felicity made her way off of the executive elevator and started towards she and Oliver's adjoining offices. Approaching her desk, she set her things down, and heard voices coming from the CEO's office. Not remembering any meetings scheduled for this morning, her curiosity got the best of her. Having the perfect excuse of actually stopping and getting him a coffee this morning, she approached his office, and saw him speaking with a tall man in a gray suit.

Even though the walls were glass, she could not see the man because he had his back turned to her, yet something in the way he stood sent chills down her spine. There was something Vaguely familiar about this dark haired man, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Oliver, however, was facing the door, and waved her in before she could knock. 

Letting herself into his office, she started to say "I'm so sorry i was late! I got a flat......" and was promptly cut off as the man in the gray suit turned around at her voice. 

She let out a tiny gasp, that would have gone unnoticed by most, but not by Oliver. She did know him. She would recognize this man anywhere! He was, after all, in her nightmares at least twice a week for the last five years. She knew exactly how many flecks of yellow were hidden in his cold, hard brown eyes. She memorized his smell so long ago. I was engrained into her brain, as though it was placed there with a hot branding iron. She would know those hands anywhere, knew exactly what those hands were capable of. 

Felicity knew exactly what was hidden behind his chiseled jaw, and handsome features. When his eyes met hers, they bore right through her, as if dare her to open her mouth.

Determined to show this man exactly how strong she now was, that she is no longer the shy, awkward, young girl she once was, Felicity straightened her posture, and stood as tall as she could. She defiantly stuck out her chin, and threw her own challenge right back at him with her eyes. 

Oliver was somewhat confused by the exchange between them. He saw recognition and fear, then defiance and anger flash through his E.A.'s blue eyes hidden behind her square framed glasses. He started to introduce his old friend to her.

"It's quite alright Felicity, I would like for you to meet an old friend of mine.........." 

"Jason Adeson" she finished for him. 

Yup, he was right! They did know each other. but how? What had happened between them? He couldn't help but notice the dark look that crossed Jason's face, the challenge in his eyes, and he was very confused by his reaction to seeing Felicity. 

Jason quickly recovered and put on a million dollar smile when facing Felicity. "We met some time ago in college, didn't we Flick?" was Jason's response. Oliver was uncomfortable by his friend's use of a nickname that Felicity apparently didn't like.

"I thought you went to Harvard?" Oliver asked his friend, wanting to know what the hell was going on. He could clearly see Felicity's emotions running through her beautiful eyes, even as she tried to hide them. He saw anger, fear, and shame running through her face all at once.

"We met at a party hosted by a mutual friend off campus one night" Jason replied smugly. "It's good to see you again after all of these years Flick!" as Jason moved to wrap Felicity in a hug, she visibly flinched and backed away almost like a wounded animal.

"DO NOT TOUCH ME!" she stated in her loud voice, and angrily glared at him.

For the first time since he has know the babbling genius, she was rendered speechless. She could only mutter a barely coherent sentence "umm, yeah, well I have to bring that document downstairs to the head of IT to be signed" 

With that, she spun on her heels and quickly made her exit, clearly shaking. Oliver was so confused at this point, and could feel the beginnings of his anger settling in at Jason, who had clearly hurt his girl somehow all of those years ago. He had to find out what had happened between them.

"So, Jason, tell me, what is the story with you and Felicity? Clearly you know each other, and I get the feeling it was a lot more than just meeting at a party." Oliver asked with a touch of venom dripping from his voice. 

Jason replied "I asked her on a date, after the party that night. She wasn't my usual type, but I was intrigued by her. She was a brunette then, I like her better as a blonde! Man she sure has turned into a hottie! Anyways, I took her out the next night, and quickly realized that there was no chemistry there. After our date, she tried putting the moves on me, but I turned her down. The next day, I guess she had her feelings hurt or something, because when i texted and asked if we could be friends, the only reply I got as a quick go to hell. I dunno man, I hate that it ended that way, we could have been great friends! Clearly she a fine specimen now!" "I am thinking that I never should have turned her down!"

His story made no sense to Oliver at all. Firstly, he had never known Jason to turn down any woman before. Back in those days, Jason was just like himself, If it was a woman, he would sleep with it! 

At this point, Oliver just smiled to Jason and said "well it was a long time ago, I'm sure she is over it by now" thinking to himself all the while, that he would have to get Felicity's side to know what really happened. 

He knows that Jason used to be a Dick when it came to treating women, but he couldn't fault him for his past, because in truth, so had he. Still he couldn't help but be angry at the sentiment that his old friend had somehow hurt her. 

Oliver had no idea that Felicity had overheard the last part of his conversation.......


	3. jealousy

Felicity was walking back towards the offices, when she heard Oliver's voice carry through the glass walls, "well it was a long time ago, I'm sure she is over it by now". 

With tears in her eyes, she turned and left as quickly as her nude heels would carry her! "how could he?" she mumbled to herself, Why would he so casually write off what Jason had done to her? 

Logically she knew that Jason had not told Oliver the truth of what had happened that night, but surely he could see how upset she was. He knew her better than that right? Even with this knowledge, hearing his words still cut through her like a knife. 

Deciding that she would head home and drown herself in a tub of mint chip, she texted Oliver and told him that she had gotten sick and had to leave. She knew that she left her things in her office, but couldn't find the strength or the will to go back there. Deciding that she would just text Digg and get him to bring them to her later.

It then dawned on her that she would have to take a cab home, and her purse was in her office. Muttering a string of curses to herself, she turned back and headed towards the elevator, when the doors opened to the elevator, She was walking in with her eyes downcast looking towards the floor and ran solidly into none other than Jason himself. 

Oliver was standing beside him, with her things in his hands. When Jason put his hands on her arms, as if to steady her, she almost lost it. She could not control the reaction her body had to his touch. Even after all these years, It was like a movie playing in her mind. Every. Single. Detail. 

It all came flooding back to her at once, and suddenly she couldn't breath. she jerked herself out of his hold and backed away as quickly as she could, only to run into yet another body. 

"pay attention to where you're going!" she heard the familliar female voice tell her with annoyance laced in it. 

"just my luck" Felicity muttered. She reached over and snatched her purse and tablet from Oliver's hands and turned and hightailed it out of there as fast as she could.

Over her shoulder, she could hear Laurel's voice echo in the lobby "Jason!! Wow! It has been so long! How are you?!?" She didn't give herself time to think about the fact that of course gorgeous Laurel knew him, and couldn't even look at Oliver's face. 

She just left. As fast as her legs would take her.She had to get out so she could maybe breath again.

What she didn't plan on was Oliver following her out. She was so lost in trying to calm her racing heart, and erratic breaths, that she didn't hear him calling for her. So when he grabbed her arm to turn her to face him, she spun around and threw her elbow at her assailant. 

Luckily his quick reflexes he easily dodged her attempt. Upon realizing that she almost assulted her boss/friend, Felicity just froze in place. Oliver looked at her and could see her small frame visibly shaking. He knew whatever Jason had done to her all those years ago, it was way worse than he let on.

"Felicity" when she wouldn't look at him, he gently put the crook of his index finger under her chin, and lifted her eyes to him. 

"Fe-li-si-ty, look at me please". She loves how the sound of his voice sooths her instantly, the way he says her name in that special way of his. 

Oliver's touch on her face, settled her stomach some, and she momentarily forgot everything else, and felt safe. If they wouldn't be on the streets in front of QC right now, she would wrap her arms around his neck and hold on for dear life. She knew that wasn't a possibility when they were in the public's scrutinizing eye. 

The vunerable look in Felicity's eyes instantly sank Oliver's heart into his feet. His affection for this woman standing before him, ran deep. 

The thought of someone hurting this innocent, full of life person was making him more furious by the second. He didn't know what Jason had done to her, but he suddenly felt like putting an arrow straight through his old friend. Who could do anything to hurt this beautiful woman standing before him?

"I know you don't want to talk right now, but we WILL talk tonight." 

Just then Laurel walks up behind them, "Ollie, we have to go! You said that you would come hang out at my place tonight, remember?" Oliver rolled his eyes slightly annoyed at being interrupted, but thankful that Laurel couldn't see it with his back turned to her.

"I'm sorry Laurel, but Felicity needs me right now, we can do something tomorrow."

"No Oliver, it's fine! Go with Laurel! I will be ok, really it's no big deal." Felicity suddenly speaks up, but Oliver can hear the crack and slight shake to her voice, and knows that she is anything but fine. 

With just a shared glance he can see her eyes pleading with him to stay, make her feel safe again. There is no way, that he will leave her alone right now. not for anyone, or anything he thought with determination. That's his Felicity though, always looking out for others first.

Laurel then says with a huff, "Well, Jason invited me to go hang out with him tonight and have a few drinks. I think I may just do that!"

Oliver, still looking at Felicity, could see the concern for his girlfriend suddenly flash in her blue orbs. "I don't think that's a good idea Laurel" Oliver quietly says. 

"Well if you don't like it, then maybe you should be spending the night with your girlfriend instead of your secretary!" she grinds out through clenched teeth, shooting daggers at Felicity with her eyes. 

Felicity, not knowing what to do, backs away from Oliver and softly replies that she is just going to call a cab. Oliver was having none of it. He was angry at Laurel for being so selfish. Why couldn't she see that he was trying to help a friend?!?! 

Finally, Oliver spins around and faces Laurel, with a low growl, he quietly speaks to her, trying desperately to reign in his fury with her and Jason at this point. "If you want to go with him, then go! Just keep your phone on you Laurel. You never know what can happen out there right now! This city is still riddled with looters!" this was his excuse to tell her to be safe, without specifically warning her about Jason, because he truthfully had no idea what had actually transpired between Jason and Felicity five years ago.

Laurel then begins to stomp away in a fit of anger.

Oliver then turns his attention back to Felicity, gently putting his hand on her bent elbow, turning her back to face him once again.

"I'm so sorry Oliver! I never meant for you and Laurel to fight because of me! Well I guess technically it wasn't just because of me, because you were upset about her going to a bar in the city right now, with it still being so dangerous, and she really had no right to be upset with you for trying to help a friend, but it seems like she was really looking forward to spending the night with you, and I can't say that I really blame her, With your muscular......"

Oliver sucessfully cuts off her rant by placing his hand gently on her shoulder, and softly tells her "Come on, I'm taking you home"


	4. Gravity

The car ride to Felicity's town home was riddled with a comfortable silence, with just the soft tune of Gravity by Sara Bareilles playing in the background. 

Felicity's head leaning on the window, as she stared out into the city, her expression unreadable. Oliver could tell that she was putting her walls into place. They both listened to the lyrics of the beautiful song and realized exactly how much it seemed almost like it was written for them. She was his gravity. It didn't matter where he was, she would always pull him back.

"You hold me without touch, and keep me without chains. I never wanted anything so much and I drown in your love, and I feel your pain." the lyrics rang true to him. 

Seeing the pain in her eyes, he felt it stabbing away at his heart and taking his every breath away. A stray tear silently got past Felicity's defenses and she quickly wiped it away. It didn't go unnoticed by Oliver.

In that moment, looking at her angelic face, while this song told their story softly in the background, Oliver had a realization. He loves this woman. And not just like a friend, or partner, he was crazy, head over heels, Jump off a cliff for her, in love. He quietly wonders to himself how he could have missed it all this time. He knew that he loved her, of that, there was never any doubt, but how could he have missed how deeply his feelings ran? Like a raging river running straight through his body, he felt everything hit him at once. 

Was he so caught up in his own little world, that he just hasn't given himself time to notice? He has tried for so very long to push back anything he was feeling towards her, because he had to keep her safe! He knew that being with her could put her in danger. 

Then he considered the fact that he was with Laurel. Does it not put her in the same danger? Does he just not care as much? No, that wasn't it, he would never allow any harm to come Laurel's way. He loves her, only he just realized that he's not IN love with her anymore. 

He knew when he said those three important words to Felicity so many months ago, that he had meant them, only he didn't know how much he loved her until right now. Looking at her so deep in thought, and with this saddened and hurt expression on her beautiful features made him become more angry at Jason by the minute for whatever he had done to hurt this remarkable person sitting beside him.

Felicity became more firghtened with every passing mile. How will she tell Oliver the nightmare that had happened to her? It was all done by the hands of one of his childhood friends. How will he deal with that? It's funny really, how things seem to come full circle. Will he believe her? So many people didn't so long ago. Not even her own mother. 

When she told her mother what had happened, Her mother just looked at her and responded with a cold "what would a man like him ever see in a girl like you?" 

She may as well have been slapped in the face. If her own mother didn't believe her, then why should Oliver? She and he didn't keep secrets, so she knew she had to tell him, even if it risked losing him, as he once promised her would never happen. Would he be disgusted by her? One thing is for certain, tonight's confession would change everything. 

He would never look at her the same. Would he look at her with pity? God she hoped not, she would rather him walk away from her all together before she could ever bare to see that look directed at her from him. This one man, this one night that happened 5 years ago, but still haunts her dreams like it was yesterday, In a matter of minutes, her life had changed forever. 

When they arrived at her place, Oliver put the car in park, and they just sat there in silence for a minute. Both contemplating the conversation to come. Finally, in one last effort to stave off the pain, Felicity looked at her hands in her lap and quietly spoke.

"Oliver, you really should go home to be with Laurel. I don't want to be the reason that you two get in a fight." Her voice was so low and pained that he barely heard her, but he did all the same. 

"you are not the reason, she and I haven't gotten along for a while now if I am being honest. At first I wasn't sure if it was just that we couldn't let go of the past, and I think that's part of it, but the other part........it goes much deeper than that. I think deep down, we both know that it isn't working, that it won't work. Neither one of us wanting to be the one to call it quits, because it will be for good this time, and that means closing a chapter of our lives." 

He couldn't believe he had just confessed all of this out loud. He ultimatly came here to help her with her demons, and here he was confessing to her. She brings out the truth in him. The truth in his heart, and she always has, even if he couldn't voice it before.

"well do you want to know what I think?" Oliver just gazes into the blue depths of her eyes and slightly nods. 

"Always" he whispers. 

"I think that you deserve to be happy, but you never will be until you believe it yourself. Trust me, I know that one from personal experiance." 

with that, she opened the passenger car door of his black Audi and began the short trek to her door, leaving him sitting there with his mouth open staring at her retreating form in complete and utter awe. 

She knew he would be right behind her, because she knew that he wouldn't let this go, but she also needed him to not let it go. Deep down she knew that she needed to tell someone....and telling Oliver was the only option for her, because the idea of speaking to anyone else about it, was enough to send her spiraling into a full on panic attack..


	5. facing her demons

After making their way into her apartment, she gingerly set her keys down on the counter top, and with a deep sigh, turned to face him. 

As if he were reading her thoughts, he reached out and touched her shoulder with a soft carress, and told her again "Felicity you are NOT going to lose me." 

"you don't know that Oliver!" she shouts at him. "You can't even fathom what I am going to say! You will never look at me the same!" 

Then her voice falters, and almost seems to fail her, as she whispers barely heard above the humming of her A/C she spoke the words "How will you ever look at me the same when I tell you that your childhood friend, the person you grew up with, is a rapist? That he is MY rapist?" 

Her words knocked the air right out of his lungs. His world just tilted on it's axis, and he had no clue how to straighten it back up. He wasn't sure if it was possible. a flood of emotions hit him like a title wave. 

As much as he wanted punch a hole in the wall, when the fury settled in his stomach, he knew he couldn't, not yet. Felicity needed him, she needed to tell her story to someone who would listen, and that's exactly what he was going to do. 

His hands itched to reach for her, to gently wipe away her tears and hold her safe in his arms forever, but he knew that isn't what she needed right now. If he did that, then the flood gates would open for them both, and she would never be able to get her story out. She needed this release, just as he needed to know. 

He looked up at her and saw the silent tears streaming down her face from those expressive blue eyes. He didn't know what to say, didn't even know if he could speak, so he silently pleaded with her to tell him. Tell him all of it, because he wanted to know, no he needed to know. Not sure if he wanted to hear the story or not, he knew he need to, they both needed this.

Reaching across the space between them, he took her small hand in his larger one and with an encouraging tug, brought her to sit beside him on the couch. Her hand was so soft and delicate in his. almost fragile, but he knew this woman was anything but. 

She was strong. Stronger than any of them. The glue that kept him from falling apart, and to see her so broken ripped him to pieces. So he silently let her know with his eyes, that it was alright, that she was safe here, with him. He didn't think it could get any worse, until she started speaking. 

"We met at a party that a mutual friend threw one night to celebrate the end of finals. My roommate, Kate, encouraged me to go with her, she said I needed to get out more, and after a lot of convincing, I relulctantly agreed. He was very charming and sweet that night and I just couldn't believe that someone like him would be interested in someone like me. So when he asked me out, I agreed, deciding that I needed to take a chance for once in my life. He picked me up the next day, and I remember thinking about how handsome he looked. I can still remember that he wore a Blue longsleeve button down shirt, and these jeans that were kind of faded on the legs. I remember his cologne, the feel of his hand in mine. Every. single. detail. We went eat at this really nice resturant and he ordered me this expensive white wine. It was too expensive I told him, as he took my hand across the table and told me that nothing was too good for me. This, by the way, is why I drink red wine. White wine brinkgs back too many bad thought, memories. I trusted him, when he said that he only wanted to come up and watch a movie. My roommate had gone back home to see her parents that morning for a week, so we were alone in my apartment. at first, everything was perfect. His arm around my shoulder as we sat on the couch watching "She's all that" which was my favorite move at the time by the way. It's ruined for me now. Although the parellels to the story are actually kind of ironic. I think my story may have turned out better if I had had one of those fog horns." 

He gently squeezed her had to stop her ramble before it got worse. 

So she continued, "Then Jason reached over and kissed me. At first it was great, but he started getting rough, demanding. Then his hands were roaming to places they should not be for a first date in my opinion, so I pulled back and asked him to stop. That's when I saw it. Fury. Like no woman dare tell him no. He then pushed me down on the couch and..........it's funny because I can still remember things like what his breath smelled like, How rough his hands were, and the way he had this cocky smirk on his face as he had me pushed down, with my arms pinned above my head. I begged and pleaded for him to stop, but it seemed like the more I begged, the more he enjoyed it. When he was finished, he just stood up, looked at me and told me thank you. Like I was a willing participant in this sick game of his. Then he told me that if I told anyone, no one would believe me, because no one would ever think that a good-looking rich guy like him would ever want to sleep with a nerd like me. I remember going to the shower and scrubbing myself until my skin bled, to try and remove his smell from me, as if it would somehow remove his touch. I felt shame, embarrassment, fear, hurt, but worse than anything, it was as if I could visibly see my control leave. I no longer had control of my own life anymore. He took that from me like a thief in the night. My life had drastically changed over the course of a few minutes, because one man, one arrogant, twisted man couldn't take no for an answer. I locked myself in my apartment for 2 days. I didn't eat, couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his face, I felt his touch, I smelled his cologne. he haunted me like my own personal ghost. When Kate, my roomate, came home on the third day, cutting her trip short, she found me in a complete daze, and ultimately, she was the only one who believed me. She convinced me to file a police report, but I had already washed away the evidence, all it accomplished was an intrusive and painful trip to the hospital, not to mention the invasive pictures taken of me."

Even my own mother repeated the words he spoke to me that night. Why would he possible want me? I guess that's why I became such a huge fan of Sara's even before I knew who she was. She was out there stopping guys like him. Making them pay for what they did to girls like me."


	6. learning to trust

By this point, all Oliver could see was red. He wanted blood. Felicity finally looked up at him and she saw the anger written clearly all over his features. 

All she could think was that he was angry with her for accusing his friend of such a monsterous act. She did what she thought she had to do. Looking him in the eyes, she apologized and ran out of the room. 

Oliver sat stunned for a few seconds until he realized that he hadn't said anything to her confession. It was then that it dawned on him that she probably thought he was angry with her! Maybe she assumed that he didn't believe her, like so many others. He had to fix this, and he had to do it now. Getting up, he swiftly closed the distance to her bedroom, where her door was cracked. 

He looked through the crack and saw her on the bed. Slowly he pushed open her door with a soft squeaking of the hinges. As she lay on her bed sobbing Oliver looked at her and said "Felicity, do you trust me?" 

She just looked up at him with questions and confusion in her blue orbs, so he repeated the question. "Do you trust me?" 

"More than anyone in the world" came her soft reply. 

Oliver then walked to the opposite side of her bed, and crawled onto her deep green down comforter next to her. The color of her bedding made him smile inwardly, he would file that information away for another day. He reached out his left arm to her to gently let her know that it was ok. With that, she closed the distance between them, and lay her head upon his shoulder as his arm wrapped around her waist. She fit perfectly nestled in the crook of his neck, her body perfectly aligned with his. Her blonde hair a tangled mess in what was left of her ponytail, he ran his fingers through it and tugged the ponytail holder out so that her beautiful hair spread out over his arm. 

"That's why I dye it" she whispered. "because when I decided that I wasn't going to let him steal my light from me, I thought what better way to show it to the world?. I know that sound kinda crazy, but it worked for me." 

Pressing soft kisses to the top of her head that lay across his left shoulder, her ear pressed to his heart, he shooshed her and said "it's ok Felicity, I am here now and you are safe. He will never get near you again. I promise you that he will pay for what he has done to you. For the record, it was he that didn't deserve you, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You truly are remarkable." 

She sobbed heavily into his chest holding on to his shirt for dear life, while his hand rubbed soothing circles on her back. Tears streaming down his face as he thought of how alone and hurt she must have been all of these years. Not able to bare the thought of such a beautiful woman going through such a horrible act. All he could think about was the arrow that was going to Pierce Jason in a way that he would never hurt another woman as long as he lived. 

Felicity then started speaking again. "Oliver?"

"yeah" he replied. 

"I don't want you to look at me any differently when I tell you this, but I am afraid you will"

"Felicity, I could never look at you any other way but with pure admiration for the strong inspiring woman you have become, not because of him, but in spite of him. You can tell me anything, I hope you know that."

She then looked up at him and her eyes lashes fluttered as she tried to blink away more tears. He could read shame and embarrassment in her eyes, and it shattered his heart. 

"Ever since that night, I haven't been able to let another man touch me. I have never been able to trust any man enough to let them near me, not intimately........I don't know how to." 

Oliver softly replied "It's because you haven't been with the right man yet Felicity, but you will, I promise you." 

"I hope you are right, It's like my brain says it is ok, but my body shuts down. I panic and can feel my this huge weight on my chest, I can't breath, can't speak, My body just wants to scream and run as far as I can. You and Digg are the only 2 men that I have ever even been able to trust enough to let into my world. I trust you both more than I ever thought I would trust anyone again. Thank you for that Oliver. You think I saved you that day when you showed up in my car, but the truth is, you saved me. You saved me more ways than I thought possible." 

With a light press of a kiss to her forhead, and listening to the steady rythm of his heartbeat Sleep finally found her. Lying in the strong steady embrace of the man she trusted and loved most in the world. 

As Oliver lay watching her sleep he knew that tomorrow he would deal with jason, but tonight his very own angel needed him, and he would be damned if he left her side ever again.


	7. nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song lyrics are from "I Won't let go" by Rascal Flats

The alarm clock read 1:06 in the morning when Oliver heard Felicity moaning and talking in her sleep. 

He looked down at her and instinctivly his arm tightened around her waist. At this, she twisted her upper body and braced her hands on his chest. 

Her breathing became more eratic by the second and began thrashing wildly, pushing him away as hard as she could as the panic took over her body, all the while screaming "NO! GET OFF OF ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!" then her screams died down to pleading sobs of "please don't". 

Knowing a thing or two about night terrors, Oliver gently called her name. "Felicity, it's ok, it's me. It's Oliver. You are safe, he wont ever touch you again, I promise" 

She then sat bolt upright in bed calling his name. "Oliver! don't leave me please!" as her heaving sobs racked her tiny body, Oliver reached over and laid a hand on her cheek cradeling her face to make her look at him. Finally the wildness and fear in her eyes began to subside.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. It's ok, I could never leave you. Not in a million years." He gently soothed her by rubbimg his thumb just along the shell of her ear. 

As she came to and realized where she was, she relaxed. Feeling Oliver's touch on her face sent a chill down her spine and had her nerves tingling. as though by some invisible force drawing them together like magnets, the both wrapped their arms around one another and held on tightly, having both moved to a sitting position now. One soothing the other. 

Oliver pulled Felicity into his lap and tucked her head beneath his chin, as he slowly moved them back to lean against the deep mahogany headboard. He gently began rocking her back and forth, as if dancing to their own tune in time with their matching hearbeats, the world just stood still. Time just seemed to stop for both of them, and before he realized it, Oliver found himself humming a soft tune. 

It's a song he heard one day flipping through the stations. Not generally a fan of country music, this song pulled at him, and he found himself downloading it to his phone and learning every word to it. Now he finds himself unconciously singing it to her in a soft gently voice.

"I will stand by you, I will help you through, when you've done all you can do, and you can't cope. i will dry your eyes, i will fight your fights, I will hold you tight and I won't let go." 

As the lyrics left his lips, he realized that he meant every word of what was flowing from his mouth. 

"It hurts my heart, to see you cry. I know it's dark, this part of life. Oh it finds us all, and we're too small to stop the rain, oh but when it rains, i will stand by you, I will help you through, when you've done all you can do, and you can't cope. i will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight, i will hold you tight and I won't let go." 

The irony of this song, is that when he first heard the beautiful lyrics, all he could think of was how she stood firmly by him through everything and fought his fights alongside him. Now he will be the one fighting her fights and slaying her monsters. And by God he was determined to slay them all, because he will never let anything happen to this beautiful woman in his arms again.

"Don't be afraid to fall, I'm right here to catch you, I won't let you down, It won't get you down, You're gonna make it, yeah I know you can make it. I will stand by you, I will help you through, when you've done all you can do and you can't cope. I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight, I will hold you tight and I won't let go. Oh I'm gonna hold you, and I won't let go." 

somewhere durring his singing sweetly to her, she relaxed and fell back asleep in his arms. He laid them both back down on the bed and he made a silent vow to hold her like this every day for the rest of his life if she lets him. 

His last concious thought as he drifted off was how much this one remarkable woman had turned his entire world and heart upside down and he would do whatever it takes to help her finally deal with the aftermath of what happened to her. The aftermath that she was never fully given the chance to deal with until now.


	8. new beginnings

Waking up with a grin on his face, and Felicity in his arms, Oliver couldn't help but think that this was what he wanted. The dobts that plagued him were null and void now. They disappeared like a leaf blowing away in the gentle breeze. 

He knew now what he had to do. Never in his life had he been so absolutely sure of the way he felt. Looking down at the mass of blonde curls that spread out over his arms and shoulders, he knew that he had never been happier in his life. There were going to be obstacles for them to face, but somehow he knew they would face them together and come out stronger for them. With this new resolved in mind, He gently crawled out from under Felicity's soft body. Placing a gentle kiss on her for head as he makes his way to her bathroom. 

He was very pleased when she stirred but did not wake, he knew that she needed her rest. Oliver considered leaving a note for her, but then decided that that wasn't the best idea. He did not want her to wake and see him gone. When he emerged from the bathroom, he saw her gentle smile looking up at him from her bed. 

"Good morning beautiful." He spoke to her and that soft voice that was reserved only for her. She blushed a crimson red at his compliment. 

"Good morning" she replied.

"It is Saturday morning, stay here and relax for a couple of hours and I will be back soon, there are a few things that I need to take care of." He softly told her with a lazy smile on his face. 

"Oliver, please don't do anything irrational, not for me. He is not worth you giving up your vow. You are a hero now, my hero, this city's hero, and I don't want to see you throw away everything you have worked so hard for." 

"don't worry Felicity, I have no intentions of killing him, that would be too easy for him. Besides I am going to come back and pick you up before we deal with him. Right now there are other things that I need to take care of, I will call you when I'm on my way back. Please call me or text me if you need anything." Oliver told her. 

He walked over to the bed and gently brushed aside a stray curl sitting on her face. As she sighed, he couldn't help but think how beautiful she really was. 

Oliver gently reached over and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead, then whispered "Relax, I will be back in a couple of hours." He then walked out and quietly closed her bedroom door with a click. He didn't want to leave her and face what he was fixing to do, but he knew in order for them to move forward, this had to be done. 

Not exactly telling her what he had to do was a smart decision for the time being, because she would only blame herself, thinking somehow she was causing his heartache, when in reality, she was giving him closure. He would explain everything when he returned to her side.

He made his way back to his apartment and found a very upset Laurel Lance on his doorstep. He let out an audible sigh, thinking it was now or never.

"Did you spend the whole night with her?" Laurel quietly asked. Oliver opened his apartment door, and ushered the beautiful brunette inside before he answered her implied question. 

"Yes Laurel, I did, but not like that. Nothing happened, I was just comforting a friend." He knew in his heart there was more to it, but she didn't need to know that, not right now. 

He and Felicity still had a lot to work out and through before they could be on a level of anything more than friends, but he was determined to put them on the right track, and this was the first step to doing just that.

Guiding Laurel to take a seat on his neutral soft gray plush couch, he sat beside her and gently took her small hands in his as he turned to face her. 

"Laurel we have to talk" he said softly. He knew this was not going to be an easy conversation. 

"Yeah, we do Ollie. I met up with Jason last night and he told me some things about Felicity. I know this will be hard to hear, but you need to know them. He told me that when he turned down her advances on him, she accused him of rape. That she couldn't stand the humiliation of being rejected, and when he tried to talk to her to let her know that there was nothing to be embarrassed about, he just wasn't attracted to her that way, she blew up and told everyone that he raped her. Ollie you need to be careful! With everything going strong at your company right now, the last thing you can deal with is a rape allegation!" By the time she finished, all he could see was red. 

He was furious! How could Laurel believe this about Felicity? It wasn't that long ago that she put her own life in danger to save her!

"Laurel, you actually believe him?!?! You can't be serious!" 

"Ollie there are even police reports she filed against him, but there was never any proof aside from some bruises, that she probably had a friend put on her!" She the. Handed the police file that she managed to acquire as the DA to him. He stood abruptly and threw the file at the wall. 

"Laurel she was scared! And hurt, and she felt like no one would believe her! She waited 3 days in her apartment! 3 DAYS! When her roommate finally showed up and convinced her to file the report, the DNA evidence had all been scrubbed away! This is the woman that put her own life in a psycopath's arms, behind his sword, FOR YOU! You of all people fight for VICTIMS Laurel! Why is she any different?! If anyone other woman came to you with her story, you would look at the bruises she carried, she the red blisters on her skin from where she practically scrubbed it off just to get rid of his scent! Look at this objectively! Yes he WAS our friend, but we also know what a douchbag he was to women! What makes you possibly think that Felicity was ANY different?!?!" He shouted at her.

By this point he was trembling in his anger. He was going to do some serious damage to Jason! He knew he wouldn't kill, even though he wanted to, because Felicity would only blame herself, but he WILL make him pay! Looking at Laurel, she had a tear drip slowly down her cheek.

"You are right Ollie, how could I be so stupid as to let my own insecurities cloud my judgement so badly? I'm so sorry" she quietly said as she looked at her hands in her lap.

He crossed back over to the couch and instead opted to sit on his coffee table across from the couch, so he could face her and look at her straight in her soft eyes. He took both of her tiny hands in his and let out a deep sigh. 

"It's ok Laurel, I don't blame you. I haven't exactly been boyfriend of the year material. Not all of those years ago, and not recently. I am sorry. Please forgive me for all of it. I love you Laurel, I always have and I always will. I need you to know that. You were always the most important person in my life. You always saw me for what I could be, and pushed me to be that man, and I will forever be in your debt for that." He could see her face begin to fall and he knew at this point that she knew where this conversation was headed, it broke his heart to hurt her. 

"Laurel, we both know that this,"he gestured between the two of them with his hand, then gently wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "It isn't working. And if we are being completely honest, it never really did. Not in the grande scheme of things. Sure we had some amazing times, and we were happy at certain points, but can you honestly tell me that we had more good times than rough? I'm not saying love is easy, I know that you have to work for it, but it shouldn't be like another job. It shouldn't be a chore just too keep each other happy Laurel. You deserve better. You deserve a man who is willing to dedicate his entire life to making you smile that beautiful smile of yours. You deserve a relationship with a clean slate. One you can build on, not have to live in a constant state of repair. We both deserve happiness, and we also both know that we are much happier as friends. You are the first woman I have ever loved and I will be forever grateful for the lessons that your unconditional love has taught me. I think it's time to let go, Laurel. It's time to close that chapter, and open a new one. One where we both get our happy endings." As she looked up at him with sad eyes, he saw the resignation in them, and knew that she understood. He finally knew the definition of bittersweet. 

"I know that you are right Ollie, I have known it for a while, I just couldn't admit it to myself. I felt like I would be admitting defeat if I did, but I see now that it isn't defeat, but a new chapter. A new beginning. I can see the way you look at her. I have for a while, but I selfishly thought that somehow I could make you look at me that way again. I realize now how wrong that was. I deserve to have someone who looks at me the way you look at her, without having to try to force it. Tell her that I'm sorry for everything. The statute of limitations has legally passed for her, but I am going to do everything I can to nail this bastard to the wall for what he did to her! Of course, I assume that will be after starling resident hero puts a few arrows in him." 

She chuckled and made him smile with that. Then Laurel leaned forward and gently kissed his cheek, as she stood to leave. "I love you Ollie, I always have and I always will. I wish you nothing but happiness. You both deserve it and frankly so do I." 

He gently squeezed her hands and whispered "yes you do. You deserve the world Laurel. I love you too." As she quietly slipped her hands from his, she walked out of the door and let him go. She couldn't help but think that as she closed that door, she closed their book, but she was also opening another one. For the first time since she can't remember when, she smiled to herself. A genuine smile. 

"To new beginnings" she said to herself as she stepped onto the elevator.


	9. Looking towards the future

After Laurel left, he sent Felicity a quick text, letting her know that he was going to get a quick shower and grab some things to head back to her place. 

He felt a sense of relief and calm come over him briefly when he read her selfless reply of "Thank you for listening and being there last night. If only you knew what it meant to me. Take your time, spend some time with Laurel. I am ok." 

He knew he wasn't going to tell her about him and Laurel over the phone, so he sent her another text letting her know that Laurel was with her father and he would be there in an hour with lunch for them both. After that he made a phone call to his brother-in-arms, John Diggle.

"Oliver can't you just enjoy one day off man?" Diggle jokingly answered his phone. Oliver chuckled quietly and told Diggle that he needed him tonight at the lair. When Diggle questioned him, his only reply was "it's concerning Felicity, but it isn't my place to tell you. I am sure you will find out soon enough."

"Is she ok?" Diggle asked, his genuine concern for this woman he considered his sister shining through.

"She will be." Was the only reply Oliver could give him. He heard the deep sigh come from the other end of the line. "7:00 tonight, I want you both there Oliver. Should we call Roy?" Oliver replied "it's up to Felicity, but I doubt it. If she wants him there, I will call him myself." They both then said their goodbyes and hung up. 

After a 30 minute shower, Oliver got out and dressed in pair of loose fitting jeans, and a snug ed hardy tee shirt. He grabbed his keys and phone, and started dialing their favorite chinease take out place as he was walking out of the door. Looking back, he made sure his apartment door was locked. When he turned around however, he was standing face to face with none other than Jason Adeson. 

He clenched his fist by his side, telling himself that now is not the time. He would confront him as Arrow, not Oliver Queen. QC did not need the bad press, and frankly neither did Felicity, because the press were like bloodhounds and would put the connection together. 

"Sorry Jason, I was just on my way out, I'll have to catch you later." Oliver said tensely. Sensing Oliver's anger, Jason's eyes turned dark. He had a feeling that Felicity had told Oliver, he just didn't think that Ollie would believe his secretary over his old buddy.

"Did she tell YOU too that I raped her? Unbelievable! The lengths that woman will go through to get a little attention!"

Oliver could no longer contain his fury. He wrapped his hand around Jason's throat, effectively cutting off his breathing and slammed him into the red walls of the hallway. 

In a low growl, Oliver looks at him and says "if I ever see your face around anyone in my family, or any of my friends,especially Felicity, I will snap your neck like a twig. If you so much as ever breath her name again from your unworthy mouth, I will break 1 bone in your body for every single time her name comes off of your lips. DO. I. MAKE. MYSELF. CLEAR?!!!" 

All Jason could do at this point is nod his head slightly. "Good!" Oliver half shouts as he releases him and Jason turns to leave, then turns back and looks at Oliver with this seemingly knowing smirk on his lips. 

"It was good seeing you again Ollie. I'm sure I'll be seeing you around!" And he leaves. Oliver spins around, no longer able to contain his fury and punches a hole in the wall. He's gonna have to pay for that, but he doesn't care. 

As if she knew he needed to hear her sweet voice, Felicity calls him. He takes a deep breath and pushes the green button on his phone screen. "Felicity, is everything ok?" He can't and won't hide his deep concern for her anymore. 

"Everything is fine Oliver, I just wanted to make sure that you were ok. You didn't kill him, did you?" Now he was clearly confused. How had she even known? Jason just left! As if sensing his question, Felicity spoke again.

"When I first saw him in your office yesterday, it really freaked me out, so as I was leaving our offices, I grabbed a small tracker and held it in my hands, just in case I saw him again. As stupid as it sounds, I knew it would make me feel better if I knew where he was at, so I could avoid him at all costs. When I bumped into him coming back to the office, I managed to slip it on his phone in this hand. And Voila!" 

Smiling to himself he just chuckled. "Felicity you have no idea how proud I am of you in this very moment, and yes I am fine. I will be at your place just as soon as I pick us up some lunch." 

"Great! I'm starving!" She replied, sounding more and more like herself. That made him very happy to hear. His girl really will be okay. Reaching down to grab his discarded gym bag, that was sitting on the floor by his door, he replied "see you in a few minutes" and hung up.

30 minutes later, Oliver was once again at Felicity's door. It opened for him before he could even lift his hand to knock. He quirked an eyebrow at her in silent question.

She looked at him pointedly and said nonchalantly "you have one in your phone too." She then grabbed the bags if food from him and brought them into her kitchen to sort.

"You were tracking me here?" He asked with clear amusement in his tone. 

"Hey! I was hungry! Don't you give me a hard time mister!" He chuckled and came up behind her to help. 

As her kitchen was tiny, and there wasn't much room, he placed a hand on her hip to pass behind her. The touch was simple, yet it sent a spark of electricity straight through him. When she turned to look at him, he knew it had done the same to her. They stood there for what seemed like hours, but really was minutes, just looking in each other's eyes. Their body's touching and slightly pressed together due to lack of space. His hand still gently resting on her hip. Oliver reached up with his left hand, not wanting to move his right one just yet, and he gently tucked a stray piece of blonde hair behind her ear, looking straight into her big expressive eyes. He could clearly see that she wanted to kiss him, as much as he wanted to kiss her. 

All he could think about was what it would feel like for her lips to be pressed against his. To finally be able to claim her as his own with a kiss. He leaned in slightly, asking silently for permission. Permission to taste her, to feel her mouth pressed against his own. The electricity was charged between them, as they had a conversation with only their eyes. Then she pulled back and cleared her throat.

"Is Laurel still upset with you?" She asked him. Desire evident in her voice. Then it dawned in him that he hadn't told her yet. She thought he was about to kiss her while he still had a girlfriend! He must really look like a class A jackass right now!

"She is fine. We decided that we are both better off as friends, and it was time for us to put the past behind us and both find our own happy story."

"Oh" he heard her gasp softly. "Are you ok Oliver?" He couldn't believe that with everything going in with her, she was still worried about him. This woman was something else.

"I'm fine. Better than fine actually. For the first time in a long time, I feel like the weight of the world is off of my shoulders. I'm finally learning to stop carrying my past around with me. That's thanks to you Felicity."

Still standing in close proximity, he puts his left hand on her face, cradling it with his hand. His hand engulfs he entire delicate jaw. Not for the first time, he notices how utterly delicate and soft her features are. "I let go of the past, so I can embrace my future Felicity. Do you understand?" He whispered to her. His lips were only inches from hers. She subtly nods her head, and he gently closes the distance between their lips and metaphorically, their worlds.


	10. Learning to live again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am overwhelmed at the support everyone has given me so far! All of the kudos and follows are amazing! 
> 
> If anyone has any feedback they would like to give, I will gladly take it!
> 
> Thank you my lovelies!!!!

The kiss was gentle. A promise from Oliver of what was to come. He wanted to pour every emotion he was feeling into. To let her know, through a single kiss, that he was in this for the long run. Her lips were soft, as his gently grazed them. He touched them almost as though it was just a whisper. It took every ounze of strength and willpower that he possessed, but he slowly drew back and waited until she opened her eyes and looked at him. 

"Felicity, I want you in my life, not only as my partner and friend, but as my everything. I am willing to do whatever it takes, and go as slow as you need or want. I am going to give you control of what happens here, what happens between us. YOU are in control. I will follow you straight into the depths of hell, if that's what it takes to show you how much you mean to me."

She stood shocked by what he had just said to her. Oliver has never been good at articulating his feelings to anyone, but he just poured his heart out to her. She wondered to herself how she possibly deserved this.....him.

How would he feel if it took forever before she could let him touch her. Would he stick around, because she wouldn't blame him if he didn't, but she didn't think she could survive if he left.

"Felicity, I will tell you this every single day if that's what I have to do, but you are NOT going to lose me. I will wait forever for you, and follow you anywhere." 

Her cheeks turned a crimson red as she realized that she had said her thoughts aloud again. After getting the confirmation she needed from his gaze, she reached up on her toes and whispered "Oliver Queen, I want you to kiss me."

With that the corners of his mouth turned up a bit and he cradled her face in both of his hands and slanted his mouth over hers. His first kiss with her was gentle and sweet, just a grazing of lips, but this kiss was more. He gently nipped on her bottom lip, silently begging for entry. She gladly gave it to him. As her mouth opened to him, all she could think of was kissing this man was better than she had imagined. His tongue slowly swept her mouth, gently exploring, but at the same time demanding. Demanding all of her. Her heart and her soul. She let out a soft moan when their tongues collided. It was his undoing. He lifted her onto the kitchen counter behind her with gentle ease. Her hands wrapped around his neck, scratching at the hairs on the base of his head. His arms wrapped around her tiny waist. She opened her legs and he stepped between them to get closer to her. She was on fire, she couldn't get enough. She never wanted to stop kissing this man. 

Oliver then pulled back slightly, their faces even in height due to her being on the counter. Both were breathless, as they just looked at one another. Their hearts beating loudly and in sync.

"Now, Oliver I want you to feed me!" Felicity laughed at the expression on his face.

He let out a low growl. "You're going to be the death of me Felicity Smoak."

He helped her down from the counter and proceeded to grab plates and glasses to fix themselves some lunch. They spent the next 2 hours watching the avengers cuddled up on the couch. 

"Diggle is going to meet us at the lair at 7 tonight." Oliver broke their silence. 

"Is there someone I should be digging up information on?" She asked.

"Felicity, I asked him to meet us there, so we can discuss our next move with Jason. I threatened him today, but honestly I didnt like the look he gave me after. I'm afraid he is going to try something, and I WILL kill him of he does. I may just kill him anyway."

She turned to him and spoke in her loud voice "Oliver Queen you are NOT killing anyone! You have worked too hard and accomplished too much to throw it all away on scum like him! If he does try to come after me, I wish him luck, because I just so happen to have 3 very buff, very protective guard dogs with me almost constantly!" Then her voice softened and she touched his cheek gently "we will figure this out, all of us together."

"I didn't tell Diggle what is going on, only that you needed us and it was your decision as to tell the team or not. It's up to you. I will support your decision in whatever you decide Felicity."

"Call Roy too." At his shocked look, she added "we are a family, all of us. If I am going to tell this story, I will only tell it once." 

At his nod, he sent a text to Roy asking him to meet them at 7.


	11. Revealing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! A new chapter, as promised! Thank you so much for the amazing reviews and helpful hints! I hope you enjoy it!

When both Oliver and Felicity arrived at the lair, Digg and Roy were both waiting on them. Digg had a big look of concern on his features. When Felicity glanced at him she realized how lucky she was to have so many men around her to take care of her, and always have her back. There is a lot of irony in that considering the fact that her father left her as a child, and what Jason had done to her. 

She was both nervous, and at peace, knowing that she was fixing to let them in on the deepest, darkest part of her past. She realized at that point, that she was not afraid. For the first time in her life, there was no fear of judgment. She knew that these three strong men would stand beside her no matter what the circumstances. She takes in a big resonated sigh.

Oliver looks to his right at her to make sure that she is okay. He searches her face for any signs of fear. Upon seeing none he gently touches her arm and leans over to her ear. He lets her know that it is okay if she doesn't want to talk about it. Truth be told he was just as upset to have to hear the story again.

"This is something I have to do Oliver. It is past time that I began to heal from everything. And this is my first step. Letting in the people who I know I can trust, and who I know care about me the most."

She says it loud enough so that the boys can hear. Her boys, she thinks to herself, these three strong amazing men have no idea of the impact they have made in her lonley life.

"Okay, so there's no easy way to say this, so I am just going to say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid, although I'm certain that would be less painful, and defiantly less dangerous, because let's face it, as over protective as the three of you are to the women in your lives, not that......."

"Felicity" Oliver gently whispers with a squeeze of his hand that's intertwined with hers. He effectively cuts off her ramble with his silent support.

"Right, well here goes.....five years ago, I was raped."

Instantly the look in Digg and Roy's eyes turned murderous. All Felicity could think was that it's good that Roy was cured, because this wouldn't end well for anyone otherwise.

"Please don't go on a rampage until I'm at least finished explaining."

Felicity continues to rehash her. Nightmare with the rest of the team. She didn't go into specific details, because they were t warranted, and frankly she didn't want to relive them again. When she was through with her story, explaining that Jason was back in town, she looked up at Oliver. She searched his eyes and found what she was looking for. What she needed. Right there in his eyes, was all the love and support she could ever ask for. But also hidden in their deep blue depths, was a silent rage that was brewing. 

Somehow she knew this would not end well for Jason. Felicity was going to have to do everything in her power to keep her boys from killing, because she would not let any of them give up all they had worked for, not for her.

Oliver looked down at her, and could see that she was shaking. He knew what a physical and emotional toll it took to tell her story again. Oliver then looked away from Felicity and his eyes caught Digg's. They had a silent conversation, understanding that Felicity needed to go home and that they would figure out a plan tomorrow to make Jason pay for what he had done to their girl!

Oliver gently placed his hand on the small of her back and leaned in to whisper to her.

"Let's go home, you have had enough for one day."

Felicity gave a slight nod of her head, showing that she agreed. Oliver decided that they would order in food from her favorite chinese delivery place. With his hand on her lower back, he silently guided her out of the new lair and back to his black Audi. He pulled out his phone and placed an order for them both on the way to the car.

When they returned to her place, Oliver took her keys because she was shaking too hard to get them into the lock. As he quietly unlocked her door, he slipped an arm around her waist. He gently pulled her into his side to give her a show of support.

"I think I need a shower Oliver, I feel dirty just talking about it again."

He tilted her chin up with his finger and thumb to look her in the eyes.

"I am here if you need me, you know that right Felicity?"

"I know, right now I just need a minute to get my head together."

"Okay. By the time you get out, the food should be here."

She stayed under the steaming shower until there was no hot water left. somehow it made her feel better. She went through her nightly ritual of blow drying her hair, brushing her teeth, and cleaning her face. After she put on an oversized AC/DC tee-shirt and a pair of pajama pants with little computers printed on them, she emerged from the bathroom feeling refreshed.

Oliver was sitting on her couch waiting on her. She could see how tense he was, and knew he was worried. So she went and sat down beside him, slightly turning her small frame to face him on the couch. She took both of his hands in hers, and with solid conviction she began to talk to him.

"It happened 5 years ago Oliver. While I won't say that the nightmares don't still haunt me, and the fears still grip me from time to time, I'm okay. I really need you to know that. Over these years, I have learned to accept what happened and deal with it In my own way. What I can say, is that having you here when the nightmares come, comforts me in a way that I simply cannot put into words. I feel safe with you, and I cannot thank you enough for being here with me and for me these last couple of days. You are an amazing man Oliver, and you don't give yourself enough credit. Arrow is starlings hero, but Oliver Queen is mine."

Oliver was floored by the words that she just spoke to him. This amazing, beautiful woman, who had been through her own hell, was showing him a strength that would rival anyone's. He realized at that moment that not only did he want to spend his future with her, but he was irrevocably And hopelessly in love with her. There was no turning back even if he wanted to. He was a goner.

"Felicity" he whispered, but before he could finish what he was going to say, she closed the distance between them with a sweet, but too short kiss. Effectively shutting him up. When she pulled back, she looked at him and smiled the biggest smile he had seen in days.

"Let's eat! I'm starving!"

"You're always starving Felicity" Oliver chuckled lightly

"Hey! A girls gotta work for this figure!" She quipped.

When they were done eating and cleaning up, Oliver showered and changed into sweats and a tee shirt. He wasn't really sure what sort of sleeping arrangements Felicity would want, and he was not going to push her, so he began to make his bed on the couch.

"What are you doing?" She asked him.

"Getting ready for bed."

"I was kind of hoping that you could be my personal dream catcher again tonight" she stated with a blush.

"I will always be your dreamcatcher, and whatever else you need me to be." He approached her, and took her hand. She laid down on her side of the bed, and Oliver slipped under the comforter and reached over to her, pulling her into his arms. With one hand around her waist, and her head tucked under the crook of his neck, nestled right over his heartbeat, he whispered "sweet dreams" and placed a kiss to her head.


	12. Her boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to show a little something from the boys side of things! Next chapter is the conversation with Laurel, and then the formulate "the plan" ;) enjoy!!!!!

Chapter 12

Her boys

After Oliver and Felicity left the lair to head home for the evening, both Diggle and Roy chose to stay and train. Both men had a ton of suppressed anger towards Felicity's attacker and needed to work some of it off. They both understood silently, that the last thing Felicity needed at this point, was to worry about them.

Forty-five minutes of sparring, and several new bruises on both men later, they stopped for a break. Up to this point, neither man had spoken a word. Then hRoy chose to break the silence.

"Do you think Oliver is going to kill him? Because if he doesn't, I will!" He spouted with venom in his voice.

"He won't. It's not what Felicity would want. Listen Roy, I want nothing more than to break him in half, but we have to keep our cool here. For both of their sakes."

"We have to do something!" Roy shouted. His fists were clenched in anger by his side.

Diggle watched him and couldn't decide if he was relieved or not that the Mirikuru was no longer running in the young man's veins.

"We are going to have to follow Oliver's lead on this one kid. Believe me, I am just as pissed off as you are, but the decision ultimately has to be theirs."

"How can he be so calm about all of this?!?!" Asked Roy, calming slightly.

"He isn't. I saw the look in his eyes, as Felicity spoke. He is angry, really angry. What he is doing right now, is what she needs. Being there for her. Felicity has shown us how much absolute trust and Faith she has in us tonight. We will not break that by losing our tempers tonight."

"With Thea gone, Felicity has been there for me every step of the way Dig. She has been the sister that I never knew I always wanted. I can't help but feel so helpless right now."

"I know kid, believe me I know. We both need to go home for right now and get some rest. Tomorrow we will speak to both of them and decide a course of action."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day

Oliver and Felicity awoke, wrapped in each other's arms. Her head pillowed just under his chin, with her ear over his heart. It was a rough night for them both. Felicity seemed to be reliving the entire thing through her dreams. Oliver did everything he could to ease her nightmares, but a part of him died every time he heard her screams or sobs. He wanted so much to take it all away. She didn't deserve any of this! Now, more than ever, he was determined to make Jason pay for what he had done to this remarkable woman currently laying in his embrace.

"Hey" he softly whispered to her, as she looked up at him with a slight smile. One that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Oliver."

Now he was confused. What could she possibly have to be sorry for? "For what?" He asked her, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"I just told you last night that I was okay, and then I go and keep you up all night, showing how not okay I really am." She sighed

He turned to face her lying in the bed, they were now both laying on their sides, with their hands entwined. Their faces were only inches apart.

"Felicity if there is one thing I know about, it's nightmares. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. Just because you have these nightmares, it does not mean that you are not okay. You are the strongest person that I know. Hearing your story only confirms what I have always known. The dreams are to be expected, as you have relived the entire attack repeatedly in the last couple of days. I want to get something into your head right now. I am here. I am not going anywhere. I told you once that you will never lose me, and I meant that with every fiber of my being. I will be right here to hold you after every nightmare, to wipe away the tears stains on your cheeks every time you need to cry, to be a shoulder to cry on, and more importantly than anything....... I will be right here by your side doing what everyone failed to do for you five years ago."

Felicity looked at him with glistening eyes. She was trying hard not to let the tears fall and he could see it. "What's that?" She quietly asked. She never expected his reply.

"Loving you."

She gasped. She knew he cared, that was undeniable. She now knew he looked at her as more than a friend. She knew that obviously there was an attraction between the two of them. But loving her? When he said those words to her not so long ago, she thought they had all been a ruse. As Felicity looks into his eyes right now, in this moment, she can see the same look that he gave her all those months ago in the mansion. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

"You meant it" she whispered, so low he could barely hear her.

"Yes, I did. You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you then. That day on the island, It killed me inside not to tell you that I meant every word. I couldn't. Not then. Neither one of us were ready."

"And you are now?" She asked

"Felicity you are the first person I think about when I wake in the morning. The last voice I want to hear before I go to sleep at night. When I question anything that I am doing, it is your voice that is the voice inside my head. You are the most important person in my life. Without you, I am not me. Yes, I am ready. I love you."

"I love you too Oliver."

He gently smiled at her. His entire body filled with a sudden warmth at hearing her words. He still could not believe someone like her could love someone as broken as himself. But he had learned not to question it, Instead he will let her into every part of him.

"Now let's figure out what we are going to do to make the son of a bitch pay, because we can do it your way, or mine. Make no mistake, he will pay. So before you argue with me and tell me to let it go, keep that in mind."

"I am not going to argue with you Oliver. I want nothing more than to see him pay for what he did to me. But we will do this my way. Our first visit should be to Laurel. we can figure out from there, where we stand legally."

Oliver could not be more proud of her, than in that very moment. He reached over and cupped her face in his big hands and slanted his mouth over hers. The kiss was passionate and loving all at the same time. As tongues dueled for dominance, and a moan escaped from Felicity's throat, Oliver couldn't help where his hands began to roam of their own violition. His hand slipped under her shirt and settled on her rib cage while his thumb was making slow circles there. Then as it slipped higher, he felt her tense under his touch. He quickly removed his hand and pulled back to look her in the eyes.

"Are you ok? I'm sorry! I got carried away."

"I'm fine. You have nothing to be sorry for. Please don't stop kissing me Oliver. When you kiss me, I feel safer and more loved than I ever have."

He just grinned down at her, with mischief in his eyes.

"Now that I can do"

What seemed like an eternity later, and yet not long enough. They decided it was time to get moving. With a plan already beginning to form, the couple arose from bed to begin their day.


	13. Weighing their options

Weighing their options

Oliver picked up his phone and called Laurel to set up a meeting with her. They decided to have lunch with the three of them at Big Belly Burger. Felicity was really worried that it would be awkward being around Laurel. The two of them have not exactly gotten along in the past, but from what Oliver says, it seems as though she has excepted her place in Oliver's life.

"Thanks for meeting with us today Laurel." Felicity quietly says as they sit in their corner booth.

"Let me start by apologizing to you, felicity. I was jealous of you, and I could not see past my own emotions to see what was right in front of my eyes. The truth is, while I love you Oliver, love means wanting the best for someone. I can see now, that Felicity is the best for you. I wish you both the very best, and happiness."

"Thank you Laurel, that means more to me than you know, and you always have a place in my heart. We are not the same people we once were, but you will always be special to me and you need to understand that." Oliver gently told her.

Felicity sat there quietly watching the exchange, listening to what was being said. While it made her somewhat uncomfortable, she understood that this needed to be done.

"It's okay Laural, I completely understand." Felicity told her.

Carley approached and took their orders. After placing their orders with her, they decided it was time to figure this out.

"So what are our options here? Legally I mean?" Oliver asked her.

"First off I need to know exactly when the attack happened. Unfortunately the statute of limitations on rape, is five years."

"Wow, okay, well in three weeks it makes five years to the day." Felicity told her.

"Hmm, okay then we have something to work with." Laurel stated eagerly.

Oliver sat and listened to the two women talk, he was amazed at how lucky he was to have such strong women in his life. His anger was seething just below the surface though. Noticing the storm brewing in his eyes, Felicity reached over and took his hand in hers. She quietly squeezed it to give him reassurance. He could not believe in this moment it was her that was calming him. He squeezed her hand back, silently letting her know that he was okay and that he would be here for her.

"Ollie told me that you filled out a police report. He also mentioned to me that there was no rape kit done. With that said, you need to understand that it will be very hard to prosecute a case against him. It will be your word against his, with no physical evidence."

"I understand. In hindsight I wish I had done everything I was supposed to back then, but I was alone and afraid."

"Don't feel bad Felicity, it happens to more women every single day then you can even imagine. An option that we do have is to try to get him to admit to what he did to you. Also, unfortunately, it means you will have to face him."

Oliver's hand tightened around hers. Obviously he did not like the turn this conversation had taken.

"No! That Is absolutely not happening! First off, Jason is smart. He is going to know when the statute runs out, and he is never going to admit to any of it. And to be completely honest I do not like the idea of her facing him, without me being present." Oliver stated harsher than he needed to.

"Oliver, I know you don't like this, but it is something I need to do. If I decide to try this I can have my com in my ear, and you and the boys watching over me the entire time. We have one advantage over him. He doesn't know about your nighttime activities; therefore he doesn't know about my connection with Arrow." Felicity replied.

"Then let me approach him as arrow. I can scare him into a confession!"

"While your method may have been effective in the past, this is something that I need to do for myself. Who knows? It may even allow me some closure."

Laurel listened intently to the exchange going on between the couple.

"She's right Ollie. While I will admit that this may not be the ideal situation, it could allow her for some closure. Besides with you and the boys silently keeping vigil over her, she will be fine." Laurel tries to coax Oliver.

"I don't like this one bit! Don't understand why I can't just approach him as arrow and get the confession from him." Oliver whispered threw a clenched jaw. He was visibly upset.

"While I'm sure your method may work, it won't exactly stand up great in court. Having him confess to arrow on a recording is not exactly going to tide over well with a jury." Laurel tells him.

"Are you sure you want to do this? You know I will support you in whatever you decide to do, but you don't have to do this. We can figure out another way." Oliver looks over at Felicity, squeezing her hand.

"I have to try Oliver. This Is this something I need to do for myself. Please understand." Felicity softly pleads.

"Okay, we will try it your way. But if it doesn't work I am going to deal with him my way!" Oliver exclaims.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After lunch, the couple met up with Diggle and Roy in the arrow cave.

"No! How can you let her even consider this! I don't understand why we can't just go find this guy and beat him within an inch of his life!" Roy yells out.

Diggle puts a calming hand on Roy's shoulder, then looks over at Felicity.

"Are you sure you want to do this? you know that we will have your back in whatever you decide. I have to say, that I am a little partial to Roy's idea, but I understand your need to do this." Diggle asks her gently.

"Roy, I know you don't understand why I want to do this. You need to understand that I have to face him, I have to face my demons. I know that I will be safe, because I have the three of you watching out for me. I know that you will never let anything happen to me. I appreciate your words of encouragement Dig, and yes I have to do this." Felicity said to them with a tear trailing down her cheek.

"You know that I have your back Barbie. I can't stand the thought of this prick hurting you like this. But I can understand having to face your demons. I will be supporting you the whole way, but the first time he even so much as puts a finger on you, I will break every bone in his body!" Roy tells her.

Felicity chuckled at this, and said "you will have to beat Oliver to it first."

"There is no way he would beat me to snapping him like a twig. I did make Jason a promise after all, and I don't break my promises!"

" Okay, let's figure out how we are going to do this." Oliver chipped in.

After coming up with a plan of action, the group went home for the night.

When Oliver and Felicity got back to her place, he could tell she was upset.

"Hey" said in his soft voice meant only for her. "I mean it Felicity, if you want to back out at any time you can. No judgment, I promise. You are, and will always be the strongest woman I know."

"I won't lie to you and tell you that I am not afraid. I can't tell you that it doesn't bother me. I can't tell you that the thought of facing him like this doesn't make me cringe. What I can tell you, is that I know in my heart that this is something I have to do." She told him.

"Okay."

"I am tired, I am just ready to get some sleep. I am going to go take a shower and get ready for bed. I expect my personal Dreamcatcher to be waiting on me." She said with a smile.

"Always" Oliver simply stated. This was a solemn promise between the two of them. One stating that he will always be there, and it meant more to her then he could possibly fathom.

45 minutes later, they were both curled up in bed together. Her head lying across his chest. Her ear laying just over his left side where his heart beat out a steady rhythm. As they lay there, with his hands softly running through her hair, she let his heartbeat quietly lull her to sleep.


	14. Humiliation and rebuilding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the reviews! I know this chapter is short, but I have so much planned for the next! Enjoy!

"I don't like this." Oliver said through the coms, as he watched over Felicity from the rooftop. He was fully dressed in his Arrow gear, waiting to pounce.

"I don't either man, but we have to respect her wishes." Digg replies.

"You guys do know I can hear you right?" Felicity says.

"We have your back Barbie" Roy tells her from the rooftop opposite Oliver.

"I know, and I have never felt safer, but if I am going to do this, I have to mute you. I can't have four men inside me at once. Oh my God! I mean inside my ear! Oh my God! I mean talking to me! Yeah, I'm just going to shut up now,but Before I do, Oliver?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to keep your com on. I just feel better knowing that you are with me. Is that okay?"

"Always"

With that, Felicity smiles softly and takes a deep breath.

"Okay. Here goes nothing." She says to herself, as she steps into the restaurant that she agreed to meet Jason at tonight.

"Hi. I am meeting someone here. Jason Adeson?" She tells the greeter in the front of the Italian eatery.

"Oh of course! He's right this way!" The young woman smiles warmly at her and motions for her to follow.

Felicity is guided to a table in the far back corner of the restaurant. The lighting is dim and set more for a romantic atmosphere. White table cloths, candles, and flowers adorn the table she is ushered to. As she approaches the table, Jason stands and greets her, with a menacing smile. It sends a chill straight through her, and makes the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

"Felicity! How are you my darling? I'm so glad you called!" He greets her, leaning over to give her a kiss on the cheek. Going against every instinct she has, she accepts it. She knows that if this is going to work, then she has to make him believe that she is here to make things right between them, to open up business opportunities for he and Oliver.

Anyone who didn't know Jason, would think that she was a lucky girl to be out with him. By all accounts, he is a very good looking man. Tall, broad shouldered, dark hair and brown eyes, would make any normal woman swoon. Any woman that didn't know him, or what he is capable of.

Jason reaches around Felicity, and pulls out her chair. After she takes a seat, he politely pushes her chair in.

"Thanks" she softly tells him.

"So I have to say, I'm not surprised you called. I knew it was only a matter of time until you came around. Although, you didn't have to use the pretense of business to meet with me."

Felicity can hear Oliver mutter in her coms something about putting an arrow in certain places, and it makes her smile. When she looks up however, Jason, seems to take this smile, as being directed at him.

"Jason, I am here, because I want to clear things up between us. Oliver is my boss, but he is also my friend. If the two of you are going to do any business together, then that means, that the two of us need to get along."

"Well, then maybe we should just start with you admitting to false allegations!" He hisses under his breath.

"Wow, you really waste no time getting to the point do you? do you honestly believe what you did to me was anything but what I claimed?"

"What I did to you? You wanted it then, and you want it now. You women are all alike! You only say no, because you like the chase."

"Oh, but I thought you told everyone that nothing happened between us that night?"

"Of course I did! Do you think I would admit to sleeping with you? I do have a reputation to uphold!"

"Please, by all means, tell me what do you remember of that night? You say that I was willing. You say that I agreed. Then please, tell me your recollection. I am very curious to hear this." Felicity let's out a humorless laugh. Inside she feels like dying, but she knows that she has to do this. She has to play this part if she is going to get him.

"Do you really think I'm that stupid bitch? What, are you recording this on your cell phone? Are you wearing a wire?"

In anticipation of both of these questions, Felicity dumps out her clutch on the table. She pops the battery out of her phone as a gesture of good will. Then she pulls off her jacket, revealing that she's wearing a spaghetti strapped, thin, dark green dress, that was very fitted. It would not leave any room for any kind of wire without it being visible. What Jason did not see, however was the com in her ear, that was hidden by her downed hair. She had it set up to record the entire conversation. This is why it was essential that the boys be absolutely quiet.

Jason seems to have taken the bait. After a few minutes of tense silence between them, and ordering a bottle of wine for the table, he finally decided to speak.

"I have to admit, I never thought I would say this. Of all of them, you were my favorite. I never expected you to be the one who fought the hardest. And your tight little body, mmmmm. Yeah, I remember it clearly. I can still hear you begging me to stop. Why do you do that anyway? All of you do. It only makes me want it more. I remember the pink lace panties you wore that night, and the way you looked me in the eyes and called me a bastard after. You really were my favorite. In fact I still think about you from time to time. Maybe I need a refresher soon. Hmm, I wonder if Queen will want in on this?" Jason leaned over the table and softly said to her.

At this point, she could no longer hold back the tears. She reached across the table and slapped him. She hit him so hard, that her hand made it's mark across his face.

He just laughed.

Felicity then got up and stormed out of the restaurant. She had all she needed. You knew that Diggle would be waiting for her outside. When she rounded the corner, he was standing there with his arms open. As she stood there in his arms, she heard a cry of pain and agony come from behind them. Turning quickly, she saw Jason, wrapped up to a light pole, with an arrow sticking out of either leg. His clothes had been stripped, courtesy of Roy no doubt, he was in only his boxers. He had a copy of the flash drive with the recording, hanging around his neck, and the words rapist painted across his bare chest. There was a big crowd beginning to gather around him, as his stood there, humiliated and in pain, for all of the world to see, waiting on the cops.

Felicity couldn't help the smile That spread across her face. The smile was not for Jason's humiliation. It was because her boys did this for her. She knew in this moment that she was inexplicably, undoubtedly, unequivocally, loved. Never in her life, has she ever felt this way. It was then, that she felt Digg gently begin to guide her into the back seat of the black sedan.

As she slid into the backseat, she realized that she wasn't alone. Oliver looked over at her. He still had his green leathers on, but his hood was down and his mask was off. She could see the storm clearly raging in his blue eyes. Knowing how difficult it must have been to hear what he did, and still refrain from killing, she could not be more proud.

Felicity flung herself in his arms. Oliver easily caught her, tightly wrapping his strong arms around her tiny waist. "Shh, shh, it's okay now. It's all over. I've got you. You're safe." He softly whispered reassurances in her ear. His hands were running soothing circles on her back. As Felicity cried in his arms, he gently lifted her and pulled her into his lap, tucking her head beneath his. His tears fell in time with hers, and he didn't try to stop them.

Tonight, they would both mourn for her. They would both feel the loss of her youth and innocence. The would both grieve for the loss of the years of love and laughter she lost. Because tomorrow, they would both start building something brand new. Something stronger, better, and bigger. Something that no single man could ever knock asunder.

 

Tbc


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not very good at writing smut....with that said, I felt that details (to a certain extent) were absolutely needed in this chapter. FLUFF warning!!! Lol I hope everyone enjoys! As always reviews are welcome and loved!!!

Chapter 15

They return from their eventful night, back to Felicity's apartment. Both were exhausted from the evenings events, and decide to turn in early. As Felicity lay there with her head on Oliver's chest, tucked just under his chin, she mulls over the day.

"As strange as this may sound, it feels as though a weight has finally been lifted off of my chest." Felicity softly tells him, while she absentmindedly strokes small circles on his chest with her thumb.

"It doesn't sound strange at all. You finally are getting some closure. As much as I didn't like what had to happen tonight, I want you to know how proud I am of you. It took guts to do what you did." He tells her reverently.

"I don't feel very brave right now. I did keep this to myself all these years, after all. I didn't have the strength to tell anyone about what happened to me. I was afraid of everything, I was afraid of having to relive it again. I was afraid of the judgment people would give me. But more than anything I was afraid of people looking at me with pity." A single tear makes its way down her cheek.

"Hey, look at me." Oliver softly tells her as he turns his body to face her.

"What you did took courage. Don't ever doubt that. Talking about trauma that happened in our past, is hard for everyone. I still have a hard time speaking about what happened to me on the island. Maybe from here on out, you and I can make a pact to speak to each other about our past. No judgment, no pity, and if we have to relive it again, at least we will relive it with each other."

"You know, you tell me constantly how lucky you are to have me, but I don't think you realize how lucky I am to have you. You give me strength. Thank you for that. Thank you for teaching me how to trust again. I do trust you, Oliver, you know that right?"

"Of course I know that. Sometimes I'm not sure why, but I can promise you that I will do everything in my power to earn that trust every single day. I love you Felicity."

"I love you too."

Hearing her say those words to him, fill his heart in a way that he never thought would. Oliver never thought he would ever be this happy again. He has never felt like he deserved it, but here is this beautiful woman lying next to him, telling him that she loves him. And she doesn't just love some mask he puts up, she loves all of him, the real Oliver Queen. He is overcome with love for her in this moment. Just when he doesn't think it is possible to love her anymore, her next statement to him throws him a complete curveball.

"I trust you Oliver, completely. Not just with my heart, not just with my soul, but I am ready to trust you with my body."

"Felicity, are you sure? I don't mind waiting. We don't have to do this. I don't ever want you to feel pressured. You are the most precious thing in my life, and I want you to know that I will wait forever for you, if that is what you need."

"I need you Oliver. Only you."

Oliver's breath caches in his throat, he has no idea what to say. Just knowing that she trusts him this completely is the greatest gift anyone has ever given him. He knows he has to make this special somehow. The pressure on him at this moment, to make her forget everything that bastard has done, to erase his touch on her body, it is weighing on him.

Seeing where his thoughts are going, Felicity takes his face in her hands and softly whispers,

"Oliver I trust you."

Then she kisses him. The moment her lips touch his, it brakes his reverie. With his right hand on her waist, he pulls her closer to him, almost under him. His tongue begging for entry. The kiss is sweet and gentle. It is about exploring every inch of her mouth, memorizing her scent and her feel. Her soft moan in his mouth, is his undoing. His hand gently slips under her tank top to touch the soft skin over her ribs. Her body instatly tenses at his touch. Oliver starts to pull back when her hand covers his. It is her way of letting him know that she does not want him to pull away this time.

He pulls his mouth from hers, and looks her in the eyes. Blue on blue gaze into each other's souls, seaking, searching, quietly asking for permission. With a slight nod of her head, Oliver's hands grab the hem of her pink tank top. He very slowly, and gently lifts it above her head. She raises her torso off of the bed to help him in his task. Considering that they are both ready for bed, there is nothing on below her tank top. The top half of her body is completly revealed to him.

"God you are beautiful." Oliver softly tells her.

Felicity, slightly looks away, almost unbelieving that he could truly believe what he was saying. He catches on to this right away, and cradles her face in his hand.

"I intend to show you, inch for incredible inch, how beautiful you are Felicity." With that said, he takes her mouth with his again.

His kisses leave her mouth and go to her jaw, then her throat, then to the soft patch of skin on her collarbone. All the while his hands haven't travelled yet to her most sensitive of areas. He vows to himself, to take this slow. Slowly, torturously so, he makes his way down between the valley of her breasts. Gently taking her right breast in his hand, he feels her tense up again. He lifts his face to catch her eyes. Maintaining eye contact with her, realizing that this seemed to relax her. As if, when she looks him in the eye she knows it is him touching her. Making a mental note to keep this eye contact, he moves his mouth to cover the tip of the breast that his hand was just massaging. He then sees the shift in her gaze, from apprehension, to desire and pleasure. This stirs something within his heart and body. He has never in his life wanted someone as much as he wants her right now.

Slowly he makes his way to her left breast with his mouth, still looking at her the entire time. His tongue swirls and teases at her peaks, until she cries out his name in pleasure. His mouth slowly lifts from her breast, and he starts tracing kisses down her stomach.

Sitting up straddling her, Oliver looks at her asking silent permission. At her nod, he reaches down and hooks his thumbs into the waistband of her pants and panties. He very slowly pulls them down as her hips lift off of the bed to aid him. His lips leave a trail of fire everywhere his hands pass. Down her stomach, hip bones, thighs, knees, calves, and ankles.

Oliver then makes his way back up her body slowly after removing the garments. Leaving butterfly kisses in his wake. When he gets to her thighs, he slowly and gently presses them open with his hands and mouth. He can feel a mixture of fear, and desire in her muscles. He knows that he has to remove the fear. She will never fully know the pleasure until she has released the fear.

"Felicity, look at me." He whispers, looking up at her from his place between her legs. When her cerulean eyes meet his once again, he tells her "I love you. More than I have ever loved anyone. Let me show you what it feels like to be loved completely."

"Okay" she softly replies, and relaxes some.

He resumes his kisses on her inner thighs, and lets his hand trail a light path over her most sensitive area. He feels her shudder, and her hips rise to meet his hand. Placing his left hand softly over her hip to keep her in place, Oliver rubs soothing circles with his thumb. He feels her hand entwine with his hand over her hip, and knows that she needs this reassurance. Gently squeezing her fingers with his, his mouth makes the slow trek to the spot he was seeking. With slow, deliberate, movements of his tongue, he has her crying his name out in pleasure, completly coming undone, in no time. It is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

Sitting up, Oliver removes his shirt, and pants. Her eyes go straight to his chest with a look of wonder in them. Her hands slowly reach up and trace the scar on his chest. That scar, the one that brought them together. Knowing what she is thinking, he covers her tiny hand with his, then moves it over his heart. Then he brings it to his lips and places a kiss on her knuckles. He takes her other hand with his other, and entwines their fingers. Having both of her hands in his, he places them on either side of her head as he leans down and kisses her again. Deeply, fully, and completely, he wants to convey every single emotion he is feeling at this moment in this kiss. When he pulls away, he looks at her, and notices all traces of hesitancy and fear are gone.

"Are you okay?" He asks her, just to be certain.

She softly smiles at him.

"Better than okay. I love you Oliver Queen."

With that said, he slowly enters her. All the while their hands remained entwined, and their eyes remained locked. He keeps his movements slow, gentle. Then he feels her hips rise to meet his, and can see the look of pure pleasure in her eyes. His control is beginning to slip, and his movements sped up. He feels her body tightening around him, the tightening is not born of fear this time, but born of pleasure. He knows she is close. Leaning down, he whispers in her ear.

"Let loose for me baby. Come for me."

That is all it takes, and once again, he is able to make her body shake and tremble, as she lets out a cry in ecstasy. Feeling her clench around him, is it for him. He can't hold it in any longer, and he finds himself calling out her name as he climaxes right behind her.

"So that's what it's supposed to feel like huh?" Felicity asks him with laughter in her voice as she lays her head once again on his shoulder.

"Oh that was just the beginning, I haven't even gotten started yet." He smiles down at her with a hint of mischief in his eyes.

"Hmm, well then I look forward to getting you started Mr. Queen." She giggles.

"You are going to kill me aren't you?" He quipps

"What's the matter? I thought you were the big bad Arrow, you afraid of a little ole IT girl?"

"Bring it on" he replies as he reaches over and begins tickling her ribs. Her laughter resonates throughout the room and it's the most beautiful music he has ever heard.


End file.
